by Tim Wilkins
Cross Ministry, Wake Forest
The saying “opposites attract” is true. Possibly the best illustration of this phenomenon are magnets. In simple terms a magnet has both north and south poles. Unlike poles attract. When the north pole of one magnet comes into close proximity to the south pole of another magnet, the two magnets attract. Conversely, like poles repel. Virtually everyone knows what it’s like to hold a magnet in each hand and feel both the invisible pull and the push of the magnets.
However a legitimate question to ask is, “if opposites attract, why are some people attracted to the same sex?” Is this attraction biological or hormonal? Is this attraction appropriate? Is this attraction morally right?
Gay men lack the sense of masculinity and are attracted to that which is obviously opposite from them–the masculine sex. Note that I did not say gay men lack masculinity, but that they lack the ‘sense of masculinity.’ Neither did I say they don’t look and act masculine; many gay men are overtly masculine, but just as an anorexic does not see herself as emaciated from self-starvation, so gay men do not sense themselves as masculine.
Because gay men do not sense themselves as masculine (of which they may be unconscious just as an anorexic is unconscious of her dangerous condition) they are drawn to that which is their perceived opposite–the male. His emotional, romantic, and sexual attraction to a male is for him, though terribly mistaken, his opposite.
The same can be said of the lesbian. She lacks that needed sense of femininity.
As the homosexual struggler becomes aware of their true created self (masculinity for the male and femininity for the female) their attraction to the same-sex diminishes while their attraction to their opposite sex may begin.
Masculinity for the male and femininity for the female are more often caught than taught. I was not taught to talk; I caught it as my parents and brothers talked around me and to me. I was not taught to walk; I caught it as I observed people around me walking.
The church can model biblical femininity and masculinity to homosexual strugglers. And as John Eldridge writes, “the most godly Christian woman can not make a boy into a man.” Gay men catch masculinity from other men. Keeping the struggler at a distance physically and emotional only exacerbates the problem.
Don’t believe it? Research proves that premature babies, when touched and held, gain weight quicker; come off ventilators faster; go home sooner than premies which are not touched and held.
“When he (Jesus) came down from the mountainside, large crowds followed him. A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, ‘Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.’ Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. ‘I am willing,’ he said. ‘Be clean!’ Immediately he was cured of his leprosy.” (Matt 8:1-3)
Tim Wilkins is an ex-homosexual who is the founder/director of Cross Ministry. To learn more about this ministry visit www.crossministry.org
